The Divine

I've been thinking about God a lot lately. Most people go through varying phases of religious belief from full on church-going to apathy to agnosticism to atheism. I didn't think I abided by any particular religious dictates, but a few days ago I realized how much I take from my Catholic upbringing and how it informs the way I perceive the world.... and that unsettled me.

Now I have a lot of problems with religion. I don't even feel comfortable going to mass anymore because I have serious issues with Catholic doctrine on contraception, not to mention the role of women and gays in the church. Anyway, I digress. I don't like organized religion for most of the same reasons the irreligious would give.

I thought of myself an enlightened figure eons ahead of the Bible thumpers who hand out free King James' versions on campus or my peers who go to the third world to spread their beliefs Then here I was one night talking to a friend about my thoughts on spirituality and science and I realize that I'm purporting common religious principles like intelligent design which is explained by evolutionary theory, if you believe in it (which I always have).

I learn that most elite scientists (like those who win Nobel Prizes or belong to the National Academy of Sciences) if they even believe in a higher power, promote an abstract, Spinoza-type God who doesn't interfere with human affairs; one who rather designed the set of principles which govern the universe. Then I read strong arguments as to why people created spiritual beliefs (namely Marxist and scientific) and it makes perfect sense but it also means what I believe in is moot. Then I acknowledge that...

Science can't explain everything. It can't explain why there is such a thing as existence nor can it give me answers to the purpose of my life. There are even some contradictory concepts in evolutionary theory regarding human emotions and actions.

It is unsettling to think that the way I perceive the world could be moot or a lie, but even if all my beliefs hold no veracity, I'd rather believe them then the alternative. I came to realize that the purposes of religion that some say denote as primitive are not bad. Yes, religion can foster ignorance and promote archaic views of humanity, but there are many people who do horrible things on their own accord without possessing a religious base for their actions. Like the artwork at the beginning of this entry, though I might not believe that Heaven or God is like what is portrayed, it nonetheless represents the good that can come from religion, which I appreciate. As long as people keep an open mind and accept that their view might not be ultimate, I think I have hope for humanity.